We went to go see the Hunger Games on Saturday, and walked out in that sort of daze that only buying nice liquor can cure. Katniss Everdeen’s plight can do that to a man or woman at drinking age. Luckily, the AMC Chestnut 5 had some place called The Urban Grape next door, and Jessa and I wandered in.
They had a nice wine selection – I assume, I don’t know anything about wine – but they also had some liqueurs next to the register that I’d never seen. There was a blood orange cream alcohol that two employees swore tasted like a creamsicle. But my eye was caught by this bizarre bottle with an elephant on the front.
I asked about it.
“Oh that?” the man seemed bemused by my curiosity. “It’s like Bailey’s, but it’s made with this fruit only found in South Africa. Elephants travel far across the plains to find it. The fruit. Not the alcohol. I’ve never had it.”
My checklist of things I like is pretty simple. I like things I’ve never tried, things with a weird backstory, and things that are supposedly scarce or rare. I’ve bought terrible candy following that criteria – “For a limited time” is sometimes a good thing. What I’m saying is, be careful of the Kazoo bar.
The drink is good. I put it over ice. It’s creamy, and then the alcohol hits, and then what I assume is Marula fruit washes over your tongue. It’s tantalizing. Even though the bottle was inexpensive, and the alcohol content matches a bottle of wine, I’m pretending like it’s sacred. Only an ounce at a time.
Because if an elephant travels far and wide for it, I should savor it.
I’ll leave you with their bizarre ad campaign:
Oh – and the bottle came wrapped in a lantern. For a candle. How could you not be sold?